The following is a fictional telephone conversation. I made it up for comic relief when we were going through the financial downturn back in 2008-2009. It started out as an email conversation between myself and others and then my twisted humor reared it's head.
Person #1 writes:
I want to ride motorcycle. I need 70's! Perhaps I'll ride in Florida...or to Florida. Hum????
Person #2 writes:
Harley Davidson is requesting a federal bailout. Maybe you can get a cheap new motorcycle for your ride, and a jacket to go with it.
I respond:
Ring Ring... Ring Ring... Hello
Ummmm... Yeah. Uh... Hi!
I'd like to request a federal bailout?
Person #2 writes:
Buffet to the rescue. Maybe you should ring him up.
I respond:
Ring Ring... Ring Ring... Hello
Um, yeah. I'd like to speak to Mr. Buffet.
Yeah, I can wait.
Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait
Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait
Um, Hey! Mr. Buffet! Wow! I actually got you on the phone? I figured you'd be way too busy for a small time investor like me.
Well, I tell you, the reason I called is... you know this economy downturn stuff... Yeah, I've always been a responsible person, paid my bills on time, stayed out of trouble, you know?
Well anyway, if all these other people in the world would have just been responsible like myself, well heck, I could have probably made a million off the stock market a long time ago. Instead, just about the time I make any money the market tanks and I get body slammed because of all these idiots in the world screwing everything up with their irresponsible ways. I just thought since I have been the responsible one that maybe I should get a bailout too.
Yes, I own a property. Ummm. No, actually I've never missed a payment. Well.... I seem to be getting by alright, but... but... but...
Meet the proper criteria? What criteria?
Need to be the CEO of a company going bankrupt? Must have lousy business practices? Need to have ignored investors and workers at my company and paid myself a 20 million dollar bonus every year I ran the company further into the ground?
But wait, if I did that wouldn't I already have a million? All I need is a measley million. That's not too much to ask is it? That's chump change for you. I mean, after all that money you gave to Bill Gates?
What do you mean what am I talking about? Yes you did, it was on the news practically every day for a month.
What? No money? Wait a minute, I thought you were the richest man in the world.
You don't have a dime? Now what do you mean? I hear your name on the news all the time and... yeah... um... what? Margaritaville?
OOOOOOhhhhhhh, this is JIMMY Buffet I'm talking to!
Well, Mr Buffet, If I had any money left I'd give it to you too. By the way, why don't you pour me one too while you're at it.
